|
|
Back to gerritt.net SERIAL TIRE SLASHER March 31, 2005. 4:44 PM I've got to get out of this crime-ridden neighborhood. The tire slashers, still on the loose after striking my apartment complex ten days ago, came through again last night and cut the tires on every Honda in the parking lot. Just Hondas this time, so once again my brand-new car escaped unscathed. What inspires someone to do this? Who are these people? In a twist of creative humor, the vandals roamed across the street and rearranged the letters on the marquee sign outside of the middle school. This morning it read "FAT HAIRY POOP NOSTRIL". One of my most favorite comedians, Mitch Hedberg, died this morning in a New Jersey hotel room. Famous for his Comedy Central specials, Mitch could deliver one-liners like none other. Some of my favorites: "I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." "At the end of my letters sometimes I like to write 'P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.'" "I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." "If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit." "This shirt is dry clean only, which means. . . it's dirty." "I love blackjack, but I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle." "I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that." -G * Email Gerritt THE NEWS March 29, 2005. 4:38 PM Art ninja: In church on Easter my minister compared Jesus to Bansky, the artist who snuck his own paintings into NYC museums last week. Iraq the Vote: Election? Democracy? I think not! Oh boy: the Boy Scouts are back in the news, and this time it's really, really bad. Watch this tonight: William Shatner in Invasion Townfolk. -G * Email Gerritt SCIENTIFIC PROGRESS March 24, 2005. 5:28 PM  -G * Email Gerritt BREAKING NEWS: ROCKVILLE March 21, 2005. 5:18 PM On my way home this evening I pulled into my parking lot, and found there were a number of the residents of my condo complex outside taking pictures of their cars, talking to police, and registering with their insurance agents. Vandals have struck my otherwise safe neighborhood, creating havok by slashing the sidewalls of everyone's tires. Bear in mind I'm talking almost a hundred cars, each having two or more tires flattened by the unknown perpetrators. We even made the 5 o'clock news on ABC 7. At the time of this article, no suspects have been identified, and luckily my car wasn't struck. Because if they had laid a finger on my new car, man, I don't even want to think about it. Maybe they thought my car was just way too cool, or maybe the narrow sidewalls of my tires were too hard to slash. Tonight I might just sleep in my car to ward off anyone trying to touch my tires. Or maybe I can figure out a way to park my car in my living room. -G * Email Gerritt STAR WARS, THE WESLEY SINGERS, ANTHRAX, AND GAY MARRIAGE March 15, 2005. 5:05 PM Some things of note this week: I went to see the new computer-animated movie Robots this weekend, featuring a short clip of the squirrel (Scrat) from Ice Age and the trailer for the new Star Wars movie due out in May. I'm very much looking forward to seeing the finishing chapter of the six-part Star Wars series, and the preview was packed full of clips to spark anticipation in people like me. Saturday night I went up to see the Wesley Singers perform in Manassas at the end of their spring tour. Its so hard to sit quietly in the audience and watch after performing with them for the last four years, I miss being up front and I miss tour. I had a great time watching, and as always it was good to see everyone. Two news stories of note today: one small step for gay marriage in California, and more anthrax spores found in federal offices near DC. -G * Email Gerritt FORGET TO WRITE IN YOUR BLOG FOR SIX DAYS!? BRILLIANT!! March 11, 2005. 11:49 AM Working night shift allows one particular benefit: getting stuff done. This week my heater broke, again, so its a cool 54 degrees down here and my fingers might soon freeze to the keyboard. But, luckily for me, I don't have to miss any work to wait here for a repairman because I'm on the night shift. Earlier this week I set out with birthday money in pocket to finally buy a new TV. My first stop was a Goodwill Thrift Store, where their TVs were all cracked, ugly, and overpriced. On top of that, there is no way to know if they work because they're all second-hand. Next stop was more successful, a Salvation Army Retail Outlet (fancier thrift store). There I found a big color TV, with wood-grain exterior and a nice clear screen, hooked up to a used VCR playing an old "Thomas the Tank Engine" tape. It was 25% off. I coughed up the cash and took it home. Problems, however, surfaced at its new homestead where it was not only much too large for the room I put it in, but the picture was poorly colored and overly blurry, even after playing with the tint, color, and sharpness knobs for well over ten minutes. I threw it in the dumpster, and instead of considering myself out $30, I considered myself making a $30 donation to the Salvation Army without having to deal with someone ringing a bell dressed like Santa. In the end, I went to Best Buy and found a nice-looking 20" flat-tube TV on sale. Perfect. -G * Email Gerritt LIFE IS A SYMPHONY March 5, 2005. 11:29 AM The Baltimore Symphony Orchestra has begun a new year in a brand-new concert hall, The Music Center at Strathmore. I hadn't been to see a symphony in quite awhile, and since Strathmore is right here in Rockville, Melanie got us some tickets for my birthday. Strathmore is a beautiful concert hall, still smelling of new paint, and decorated with hardwood and soft lights. The BSO played a program of two well-known American composers, Gershwin and Copland, as well as a Tchaikovsky and a Smetana (slightly lesser-known Czech composer). The traffic getting there was horrendous, but we had a great view, even though the sound was a little unbalanced from our seats behind the orchestra. Images from my trip to Europe with Daryl are now posted HERE! -G * Email Gerritt A TALE OF TWO CITIES March 1, 2005. 5:59 PM Images from my trip to Europe with Daryl are now posted HERE! Daryl and I saw so many different and amazing things while overseas that it would be impossible to try and write it all down. We found ourselves in new places, seeing new things, trying to fit thousands of years of history into a three day tour. I was continually amazed thinking that America as a country didn't even exist when many of the buildings we walked through were built, and a few buildings even dated back to before Europeans had discovered the new world. I enjoyed both cities, but for different reasons. London felt tall and handsome, a proud English city, not too different from an east-coast US city. Paris seemed softer and quieter, a city trying hard to be itself and avoid American influence, while still keeping an open-arms attitude. I'll be back, probably when its not so cold, and hopefully for a longer stay. -G * Email Gerritt |